I'm a drug addict.
I discovered this last week. I've been on Cymbalta for several months now. It's stopped the panic attacks, and the really lows that I was having. Not really made me happy but at least I don't want to die. A good thing, right?
But then on the weekend I missed my dose. Didn't think it was that big a deal, but then the next day, I got sick. Really sick as in a migraine headache, nausea, plus my mood crashed into the basement. I was also getting these weird "brain zaps" where my head would twitch and my stomach would lurch, like I was having an adrenaline rush. I wanted to curl up and die.
It all went away as soon as I got back on the meds. Ugh, that phrase makes me sound crazy. "Off my meds." It's how we refer to someone acting weird. But there's no denying it, I'm a Cymbalta junkie. If I don't get my fix, I'm going to go through some serious withdrawal, just like a heroin addict.
That bothers me a lot. I don't know why it should, it's just like a heart patient will go through serious withdrawal (i.e. death) if he doesn't take his heart pills. Why is this any different? Because being mental is a sign of defectiveness somehow.